He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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