I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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