four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
