It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
