Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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