Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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