Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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