He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
