is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
