i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
that is very illegal...i love you.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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