i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
