I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
