thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
