guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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