You work out of a Hotel?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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