3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
