I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
