I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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