I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
