Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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