Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The power of my boobs compel you
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
