I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
