We won't sleep together?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
