I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
