If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
