So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
