"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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