i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
