so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
