Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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