are you still at the devil's house?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
