Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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