I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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