i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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