She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
