he wants to bone in the snuggie
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
