That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
