Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got inside last night via doggy door
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
