quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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