You're so nebulous sometimes
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
