well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
