Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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