And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
