I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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