Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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