Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Is that strawberry winking at me??
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
