I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
