Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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