We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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