The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
farters have to be the big spoon...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize