You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize