don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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