I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have aggressive nipples.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
