I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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