Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
