I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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