I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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