Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
