Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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