So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize