you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
